Gender Neutral Spaces
A few days ago a friend of mine was writing an article for his college paper and asked me some questions in an email about gender neutral spaces. I offered my responses and this is basically how it went:
1) Do you think college campuses should provide gender-neutral bathrooms for trans students to use?
I don’t necessarily think that making a whole new gender-neutral bathroom for Trans folks is the answer on campuses or in the rest of the world. If you have a men’s room, a women’s room and a gender-neutral bathroom (for Trans or gender variant people) then people will know that those people using it are different some how, potentially putting them at risk for violence or other safety issues.
However, I do think taking gender and sexuality out of all bathrooms in general, is more in the right direction. I don’t claim to know the best way to do this but for starters, how about having maintenance folks just take the skirts and pants symbols off all the outside of the doors and put a graphic of a toilet. Everyone knows what a toilet looks like, so just slap that up there with letters spelling out the word “Bathroom”. Really, isn’t that why we’re there, just to go! Plus, all pee and well, 2 too, sounds the same hitting toilet. It’s not a gender thing or a sexual thing, it’s a bodily function thing. Get in there, get it done and move along. Of course cleaning these bathrooms will need to be bumped up a little for the boys who have bad aim.
2) Should trans students be given the choice of where they want to live on campus?
Everyone should be given a choice of where they live on campus for any reason relating to comfort and safety. Going off to college for the first time is hard and scary enough if you’re the “majority”. But if you are Trans or other gendered, then it’s even scarier, with all the issues that communal living situations with people you don’t know can procure. I think it’s important that everyone be given a choice, but I don’t necessarily think the choices are a) men’s housing b) women’s housing c) other gendered housing. I think it should be something like a) how smart and liberal are you? b) are you interested in expanding your education and are you historically conservative? If incoming students answer the latter then they are housed with others who answered similarly and immediately enrolled in diversity classes and training, then slowly worked back into the general housing population. Now, I’m sort of kidding with this, but I don’t think I’m far off the mark with the concept.
3) Should college campuses provide transgender “hallways” that have rooms that are designated for trans students only?
No, that seems silly to me. I think it’s more important to integrate rather than segregate. Personally, I believe I am no different than anyone else. Everyone has strong and different feelings about their bodies. Some may think their nose is not what it’s supposed to be, while others think their legs are too short, some think their to heavy, too thin, too hairy or not enough hair, the list goes on and on. But on a basic human feeling level, Trans people or other gendered folks have the same feelings about their bodies. No one is 100% okay with their body. But because our (Trans and other gendered folks) feelings tend to be connected to sexuality, people are afraid and ashamed to talk about them in a way that is similar to their (non-Trans folks) feelings. I don’t think our core feelings about our bodies are all that different, what action we may or may not take to resolve those feelings vary person to person. So I think we are alike and we should use the same spaces as everyone else, including hallways, rooms, dining and living spaces. Educating people is the key and how perfect is it that you are talking about a space that is specifically designed for just that!
That’s it for now.
XOXO, LYMI,
Ian