January
2, 2011
QUESTION:
Hi Ian! You´re a really funny
guy XD. I was just wondering how people see you because you used
to be a woman!? Am kinda in the same boat I feel like a man but
haven´t transitioned yet. And how is it in showbiz when you´re
transgender want to become an actor in the United states, but
it´s kinda hard since I live in sweden XD. Well anyway you´re a
funny guy so keep up the good work kind regards Sam
ANSWER:
Hello Sam, thanks
for your message and compliments. I have no idea what it must be
like in the entertainment industry in Sweden, but for me
here, showbiz has been really quite kind so far. I think people
see me as a guy and hopefully a funny guy. But truly I don't
really know what it is they see and I kind of don't care. I hope
the ones I come in direct contact, have some interaction with,
or have some kind of connection to, see me as a good human
being. But the truth is you can never know what others see and
you can't change it. I'm sure there will be some bumps in the
road, that's the way it is with any career, not just in showbiz.
I'm sure its not going incredible all the time, but it is
whatever I make it. I believe the same will be true for you.
It's all how you look at it and your own perception, which is
the only thing you can control. Maybe its more important how we
see ourselves... Anyhow, wishing you all the best Sam. Take care
brother! Ian
July
21,
2010
QUESTION:
Hey Ian, Very funny stuff! You
make an awesome man, too. And for someone who hasn't seen you
since high school days, I find it especially fascinating, though
it really explains that enthusiasm for the Rocky Horror Picture
Show. Congratulations on all your success--I'm very happy for
you. Will have to check out your show next time you perform in
San Francisco. Let me know if you ever want photos of your teen
years in Maine! David
ANSWER: Hey
David, I received your
message,
thank you. It's been a long time! Yes, I did and still do love
RHPS! Please do send those photos to
inquiries@ianharvie.com and I will be sure to get
them. I would love to see them, that would be funny! I can post
them on here ;) Thanks! xoxo Ian
July 8,
2010
QUESTION:
Ian we
spoke on a talk show about your transgender. u said u had some
more info. on the subject i wish to hear from you. Ruth
ANSWER:
Dear
Ruth,
I did receive your email and tried to send you this message back
but it bounced back to me. So I got your email but for some
reason I cannot send back to you! So I am placing your answer
here.
Thanks for listening and calling in today on the radio the
show. If you would like to come to a show between tonight and
Sunday night, let me know and I will put you on the list and you
can bring a guest. If you would like some resources about other
folks that feel like you do, you can check out these excellent
sites:
www.sccatl.org this
is a great conference to make friends, family and community
and it's in GA!!
www.brownsteinmd.com
is my chest surgeon, who is in SF and
is amazing, but there are other really good ones too.
This ought to help get you started. Please let me know if
you'd like to come to a show, there will be a lot of trans
folks there you can meet too. Cheers my friend!
June 20,
2010
QUESTION: What thought
did you clung to when you were going through teenage hood?
ANSWER:
It's
hard to say what my thoughts were back then, seems so long ago
and I drank far too much over my sexuality and gender to try and
squelch those thoughts I had. It wasn't until I was much old
that I found a thought and voice and a mantra that I seem to
cling to more than any other, which was.. "everything is going
to be alright". This is the thought at most difficult times that
got me through, it was my faith statement, and yes, sometimes
the thought I clung to in order to hold on through all the hard
crap (especially for teens) that we as humans have to endure
with each other. Everything's going to be alright, even when it
feels like it's not going to be, it will. xoxo Ian
June 17,
2010
QUESTION:
I know Matt Alber wrote and performs the theme song for your
talkshow. Is this available anywhere for download/purchase? I
was so grabbed by the song ... And your show. You are such a
great interviewer ... real enthusiasm and interest in your
guests had me watching every online episode. Douglas
ANSWER:
If you
go to
www.MattAlber.com you can learn
more about where to buy stuff of his. He might be on iTunes or
CD baby too. He has the voice of an angel. I love him. Thank you
for your sweetness about the show. It was really fun to do. I
loved it so much and wish that I could show it to the world, you
know. Real conversations with real human beings for no reason at
all. Fun times. Thanks again for the sweetness, Ian
June 6,
2010
QUESTION:
Confused here, was Ian born male or female? And is Ian into
males or females? Danielle
ANSWER:
Hey
Danielle, check out this video, it kind of explains everything:
..........................................................................................................
May 20,
2010
QUESTION:
Hey
man...do you every come to Louisville to do shows? Victor
ANSWER:
Hey
Victor, I would love to play Louisville sometime soon, but it's
hard to say when. I'm not sure where I would perform, comedy
club or small theater? Where should I play there? I'd
like to put it on my wish list, so if you send it to me I'll put
it on my venue wish list. When I do play your city, I'' be sure
to let you know when I'm coming. Much love, Ian
May 14,
2010
QUESTION:
Why is Proud FM your favourite radio station... is it Jonathan
or Bob.
ANSWER:
I'm
totally torn between two lovers. I'm in an open relationship
with Proud FM. Thanks so much for having me on you two, much
gratitude! See you next time. XOXO
January 9,
2010
QUESTION:
Hey there. I came across your site after seeing you on the Logo
special about the OutLaugh Festival. It was so cool to see
Garrisson Starr on your show. I went to college in Mississippi
and used to go see her at Rick's Cafe Americain. I'd lost track
of her - good to see she's still making tunes. Are you guys
good friends? Do you hang out and stuff? Such a small world...
Brian
ANSWER:
I've
known Garrison for a while now and she is a really good friend
of mine. What an amazing talent. I'm a huge fan, since her
album "Eighteen Over Me". Even smaller world, I was
hanging with her in the recording studio in Burbank last night
when she was helping produce my friend Margaret's (yes, Cho) new
comedy music album. Which, by the way, Margaret's album is going
to be (and already is) ahhhhmazing, funny and beautiful. So yes,
it's a super small world.. all round. I will tell Garrison to
read this entry! AND lastly, I love knowing other people out
there that I don't know love G-Starr like do. XO to you, Ian
December 2, 2009
QUESTION:
My name is Autumn, I am a lesbian in Ohio. I enjoy your comedy,
and a big fan. I would like to ask was it hard to start your
comedy career? Also how did you get started? Thank you for your
time, and have a good day!
ANSWER:
Hey
Autumn, thanks for being a fan, I always appreciate it when
people say that. I'm also still a little surprised, that I have
'fans'. Let's see.. It really wasn't hard to get started
in comedy; scary sure, but not hard. I kind of stumbled into it
and had a lot of support from fellow comics who were all
starting around the same I was. Plus, we were all learning how
to write jokes around the same time, trying to get stage time
around the same time, so we all became family, you know? So I
had a tremendous amount of support that way. I'm not sure if
that was what you were asking for or if your question was more
geared to was it hard because I am Queer and Trans? If that's
more what you meant; then no, it was not hard to get started,
but since I'm no longer a beginner comic, I've gotten the
feeling a few times that I was not given an opportunity or
included or considered because I'm not mainstream enough. I
think it will change over time and once I get to a place where
I'm more well-known or have a larger fan base, then things might
not be as limited. So, not hard to get into but maybe a little
hard to sustain if your goal is to impact the masses, which I
hope to do. Thanks for writing Autumn! Beautiful name, by the
way. Happy holidays, XO Ian
November 22, 2009
QUESTION:
When are you coming back to Florida?!? I loved seeing you at the
Improv opening for Margaret. On a side note, I teach college
juniors and seniors. I use quotes from you all the time to help
demolish their binary ideologies. Thanks for being out, open,
and honest about who you are! Korrie
ANSWER:
Korrie, thank you for your message. I really had fun at that
Improv show in Tampa/Ybor City, FL. You all were amazing there,
definitely a memorable audience! Great and wild energy that
night! It's sweet that you're writing to me so long after the
show; I'll take that as a good sign;) So yes, it has been a
while and I'm not sure when I'll get back that way, but I
promise to keep you posted here, on my site or on my
Facebook page. Thank you for
finding me and writing, it means a lot! XOXO Ian
October
11, 2009
QUESTION:
I apologize if I am way out of line here. Do you have a life
partner now? And since you are Transgendered, would that partner
be male or female? The reason for asking is as a gay man I find
you extremely attractive and am very much interested in you.
Again, I apologize if I have offended you with these statements.
Update: I have read some of the other Q & A's and seen that you
have a girlfriend. She is a lucky girl. Dave
ANSWER:
Dave,
I'm not offended [chuckling], I think it's a sweet gesture and a
compliment that you're interested. But as I've mentioned
(below), I am spoken for. But I think instead of answering with
the same old "I'm taken" response and leaving it there; I think
I'd like to try to explore/guess what might have happened, well,
if not for you but maybe one of the others below.. I think what
happens sometimes with folks who might have been in the audience
listening to my stories, some of the rigid lines of sexuality
and orientation were transcended and made more fluid than we
once thought. Maybe this isn't at all related, but it just got
me thinking about what may have inspired this kind of kind
response from you. Or maybe it's more simple like what Margaret
says.. "Ian's kind of a universal jack" ;) Thanks Dave.
October
8, 2009
QUESTION:
IAN!
You were absolutely amazing here in Boulder Colorado... you are
such a hottie! My friend and I were the chicks that worked at
the crystal dragon and we saw you again at the gas station : ) I
just wanted to say how awesome the show was and how incredibly
brave and inspiring you are! I was wondering if you are doing
any other shows in the near future here in Colorado or nearby?
Brett
ANSWER:
Yes, I
remember you and your friend! Thanks for saying hello and
remembering me. I don't know when I'll get to Boulder again, but
Denver might be more easily done, not sure. Thank you for
wanting me back ;) I appreciate it. I really loved Boulder and
someone asked me recently what town/city I liked best on this
tour and I said besides my home town of Portland, ME... most
definitely Boulder! Very cool place you have there. I will be
back near there sometime soon. If you want, I mentioned this to
others below, if you want, either join my mailing list or just
keep checking my schedule and I'll see you soon. Cheers for
being sweet and supportive. XOXO to you both. Ian
October
1, 2009
QUESTION:
What is
the meaning of life? Brett
ANSWER:
Tear it
down and build it back up the way you see it, even if it
resembles it's previous form, it's yours now. Say YES to
everything that has potential to change your life, for better or
worse. Find a way to love yourself like no one else, then let it
shine and give it away. And lots more that I don't have a clue
about. If you find out more Brett, let me know! ;)
September 23, 2009
QUESTION:
No question but just a thank you for coming to Annapolis,
Maryland with John Roberts and Margaret Cho on Monday, 21
September. It was a pleasure to see your performance. I will
admit that you are cute but won't go any further as you have a
girlfriend. You now have a new fan to add to your list of
hundreds. Can't wait for your next visit to Maryland. Take care
and be safe. Dwayne
ANSWER:
Thank
you! You guys were great there at the Ram's Head, what a sweet
little club and town you have there. Thank you for finding me
and leaving me a note. I'm always surprised and honored that
people go home, log on and search, find and leave me a message,
especially nice ones like yours. Much love for the support
Dwayne! XOXO See you next time, Ian
September 19, 2009
QUESTION:
Hi Ian, my 16 year old son and I just saw you with Margaret Cho
at The Orange Peel in Asheville. My son is curious to know 2
things. How old you are and what your birth name was. Loved the
show! Kathy
ANSWER:
I'm 41
and see the answer a few below this one about my name at birth.
Thanks for loving the show. XOXO
September 15, 2009
QUESTION: Got my picture taken with
you tonight after the Knoxville show (you had a sandwich in
hand). It was great meeting you and you're totally HOT. I bet
you get that from all the gay boys. My favorite joke was "...how
rude, didn't even mention my third hole" but I'm bad at messing
up jokes when I repeat them. Could you please e-mail it to me so
I can accurately tell my friends? please?! Tony
ANSWER:
Hey Tony, yeah, I remember. I was soooo hungry after the show.
Sorry about the sammich in your face. About the joke.. you got
the joke allllmost right. The line is "he didn't even
acknowledge my third hole... what a bitch." Now go tell your
friends. See you next time in Knoxville. Much love Tony, Ian
September 15, 2009
QUESTION:
I was listening to an interview you did on the Fruit Salad show
a while ago, and I have a couple of questions for you. First: I
think it's so great, and so generous of you, that you have the
energy and the patience to answer everyone's questions about
being trans. My question, though, is: do you ever just get tired
of it? I'm a queer/butch woman and I find that a lot of the time
that's hard enough, that i can't be bothered educating the
general public. i just want them to leave me alone and let me
live my life. And question two: on the Fruit Salad show you
mentioned that there are three questions people always ask you
when they find out you're trans. Number one obviously is about
your junk. But what are the other two? I can't figure it out.
Erin
ANSWER:
No, I actually
don't get tired of doing the educating. I think because I'm a
Gemini, I like the whole communication thing in all forms. I
like trying to think of new ways to say things, ways that people
can understand. Try to imagine myself in their shoes and then
think of the language they need in order to wrap their head
around something. Also I work it into my comedy so it's not so
dreadful when done through humor. I like that what I do on stage
feels subversive, people don't maybe realize what's happening,
but it is.. they're being changed. I hope that doesn't come
across as gross sounding. I think if you've seen my stuff then
you'll know what I mean. BUT that's doesn't mean that I don't
understand how it COULD be tiring for some, especially if that's
not your thing and you're not a Gemini. Gemini's love that shit,
well most of us do.. Anyhow, the 3 things I'm almost guaranteed
to be asked once people know I'm Trans are usually not just 3,
it's usually more:
1) Do you have a dick?
2) Are you going to get a dick?
3) Who do you fuck?
4) How do you fuck?
5) What was your name at birth?
September 13, 2009
QUESTION:
Hey. I saw you at
Margaret Cho's show tonight in Nashville. I freaking loved your
act. I have a very close friend In Olympia, WA who is
transitioning right now and is thinking about having Dr
Bernstein do his surgery and I assume that's who you went to
when you said SF. I think you're an awesome role model. Not only
for trans guys but for anyone who has ever disliked something
about their body. I hope you continue to grow your act and one
day soon be headlining your own show. I'd definitely come.
Anyway. My friend's (current) name is ******* and her email is
[removed] I'm sure he'd love to hear from you. Again. Loved the
show. Can't wait to hear more from you. Michael
P.S. I
was sitting next to the guy you addressed the question "has your
dog ever eaten your cock" during the first show tonight,
9/12/09.
ANSWER:
Thank you for the sweet message and I think it's sweet you are
wanting to support your friend who is in Transition and hoping
to connect us. My suggestion would be for you to have your
friend write me on here and I won't publish it, but I will
receive it and respond directly. That way your friend has the
option to contact me if he chooses. You know..? So if he would
like to chat as pals, or needs support, have him write me
anytime. Thanks again for the nice message. Hope you and your
friend in Washington are doing well! Give him lots of love and
support, Trans people need it the most (for a little while) in
this crazy messed up world. Thanks for being a friend to Trans
folks! Love, Ian
September 4, 2009
QUESTION:
What was your name at birth? Aim
ANSWER:
Janet. I know.. do I look like a Janet. Well, I kind of used to,
but not anymore. I love who I was named after, I just never felt
it, you know. Yeah, so there it is.. Janet. By the way, you can
ask me that here, but other Trans people may not be so open to
answer and might be upset with the question. So don't just go up
to any Trans person and ask them such questions. For some people
it's really a difficult and painful thing to discuss. Just
saying, be thoughtful of people's history. Peace, Ian
September 3, 2009
QUESTION:
Hey Ian, dude you're awesomely funny and hilarious. I was
wondering if you can come do a show in the NYC man. Like in the
village. Alot of people would so come to see your show. Iite
man, take care. Elsie
ANSWER:
Elsie, tell me where in the Village I should do a show? I love
coming to NY to perform and would love to. Send me your
suggestions of where you think I should play. I'm open to
suggestions. Hopefully we can work it out and I'll make you my
street team to help get the word out. LOL. You asked for it!
Kidding.. sort of. Maybe see you soon. Much love for the
thought! XXO
August
30, 2009
QUESTION:
Hello Ian: I ran into you and your brother on the street last
week in P-Town. You handed me (I was the brown skinned guy) and
one of my two other friends a card promoting your show and we
talked a bit. I had my camera with me and could have kicked
myself afterwards that I did not take a photo with you. You
were so nice and extremely handsome. Steve
ANSWER:
That's sweet Steve! Well, I'm not sure what to say.. maybe we'll
be able to take a photo when I'm in your home town or a city
near your home town next time I'm performing. Where are you
located? Keep in touch, we'll get that photo! Thanks Steve for
the sweet note. All the best, Ian
August
28, 2009
QUESTION:
Saw your show in P-town...lol thanks for harassing my friend and
I to go. Thought it was great! Keep up the great work you're
doing! Jason
ANSWER:
Provincetown is interesting that you go out and really pound the
pavement and basically brow-beat people into coming to your
comedy show. That was new thing for me. I loved it and it was
hard. Thanks for letting me convince you to come! You're sweet
to take the time and find me on here to write to me to thank me
for harassing you. I don't know if you can call it harassment if
you're now writing to me. Don't you love P-Town! Wooohooo! Will
I see you there next year? XOXO
August
26, 2009
QUESTION:
Hey Ian, listen I'll be at your show vixen this Friday, wouldn't
miss it I love what you do, I am also a TG comedian, I haven't
physically transitioned I still have breasticles!!! Ya buddy
hope to chat with you maybe after your show, I'm big on throwing
my name around and getting backstage or wherever to meet my like
minded peeps. So don't be surprised if your people tell you some
"JT Cotter" fool is asking for you sayin he knows you haha cause
that's what I do. I hope we get a chance to meet each other.
Love the name of your tour fuckin awesome cant wait to hear it.
Your soon to be new tranz buddy. JT
ANSWER: Well,
now that it's October and I know the outcome of this message.
You all should know that JT is my new stalker. Hahahaha. No,
actually he's my new bud. He came to two shows in Proivincetown,
mine and then Margaret's with his lovely lady Adrienne. They
drove a long way from CT to see the shows, then JT came to my
recent show in Tucson from Phoenix. A dedicated new friend and
funny guy, fellow Trans man comic - which is the first that I've
met! So, nice to make a new friend, nice to meet another Trans
comic out there. Cheers to you my new bud JT and to Adrienne.
XXO Ian
July
20, 2009
QUESTION:
Loving your show, wondering what song plays during the opening?
Keep it up, hope you come to Vancouver, BC soon! Daisy
ANSWER:
The song that is the one that plays as my show's theme song?
That is a song titled "Is Anyone Out There" by Matt Alber; one
of LA's best kept secrets, a singer songwriter and a lovely
human. Check him out online at
www.mattalber.com Hope this helps. XOXO
July 10, 2009
QUESTION:
Okay, okay, I just need to know whether or not you are using the
fact that you cooked the roast beef ALL NIGHT in the oven when
you worked for me as part of your routine? I AM SO PROUD OF
YOU!! (I actually just mentioned that fact to a new cook last
week and thought of you). I'm happy to see you're doing well.
Take care! You look quite handsome! Love, Nancy
ANSWER:
Awwwwe Hi Nancy! I'm so glad you found me on here! Hahaha! Love
the roast beef reference. Sadly no, I've not yet brought that
into my routine. For those of you reading, Nancy used to be my
boss when I was like 18 or 19 in Brunswick, ME at my favorite
deli and brunch place in Maine. I still dream of Eggs Alexis on
Sundays. Yumm! For those who would like to know some history, I
used to be half-assed Breakfast Cook and might have messed a few
things up. But Nancy and Earl were awesome and patient owners
and teachers. Love to you all back there at the deli. I bet your
kids are all grown up now, eh? That was 22 years ago!! Wow!
Well, I'm going to sleep tonight dreaming of smoking ovens with
roast beef and lets be honest, I'll be dreaming of smoking weed
in that basement. LOL! Peace Nancy! XOXO
July 3,
2009
QUESTION:
So... When are you coming to Toronto? Stef
ANSWER:
Ooooh, you know what? Thanks for asking! I just wrote to someone
today about trying to perform at the Gay and Lesbian Comedy
Festival there "We're Funny That Way". I will let you know what
happens with that. You are about the 3rd or 4th person to ask me
that in the last couple weeks. So I hope I get to. Here's how to
find out.. you could check my schedule or check theirs or hell,
ask them if they'll have me. You can stay posted by joining my
mailing list or just have a look at my schedule from time to
time or follow me on Twitter. I usually talk about upcoming gigs
with my tweets:
http://www.twitter.com/ianharvie
June 29, 2009
QUESTION:
I am from Maine and now live in Boston. I saw you at Boston
Pride. Did you grow up in Maine? If not, what brought you
there and how do you feel living in Portland? I
have many trans identified friends living in Portland, but have
not yet been able to bring myself to live there out of fear of
small-town mentality that is probably leftover from
childhood. But I love Maine, and getting giggy with it on the
pole at Styxx any given Saturday night or when the human disco
ball comes out. And love meeting people from Maine. So I had
to say hi and ask if you are native. Because you know...maybe I
know your cousin. Travis
ANSWER:
I am from Maine too, born and raised. I've lived in Los Angeles
for about 3 1/2 years and yes, I did perform in Boston then went
up to Maine to visit family and friends there after. I do get
back there pretty often. I have a lot of cousins from all sides
of the tracks, shit we might even be related, wouldn't surprise
me a bit. Also, I have totally worked that stripper pole at
Styxx before. Good times. Nice to make your acquaintance. Thanks
for finding me and writing! Cheers to you my fellow Mainiac and
possible cousin. XOXO
June
27, 2009
QUESTION:
Are you back from Cardboard land for good? Did that itch get
satisfied? We met at the Chocolate Church a couple of years ago.
Also are you still X or have you chosen a different path? Hope
you are well and happy. Best, Rena
ANSWER:
Hey Rena, I'm not sure what you're talking about 'back from
Cardboard land". This question was in June and I was visiting
Maine in June from LA. Perhaps you thought I had moved back? If
what I've pieced together here is correct, the answer is no, I'm
not moving back to Maine. I love LA and all the people I've met
here are amazing and beautiful and real. I avoid or rather, try
not to attract the rest. As for if I identify still as X, yes.
FTX, not necessarily FTM. X = something more masculine. Hope
that helps. Cheers from Los Angeles. - Ian
June 23, 2009
QUESTION:
Absolutely Enamored!!!!! Are you coming to Cleveland, Ohio
ever?! Would love to see your comedy act! Denise
ANSWER:
I will be coming to Cleveland, I just am not sure when. I will
let you know when I am through my mailing list. If you'd like to
be updated, not spammed. Sign up and I'll keep you posted. I
love my Ohio fans and performed at Pride there last year.
June 15, 2009
QUESTION:
I just wanted to say thank you so much for your appearance at
Boston Pride. You were the highlight of my day. As someone in
the early stages of trying to navigate gender stuff your
comments about bathrooms and body stuff really hit home, and
made living in a gray area much more understandable. Please
continue to use your analogy of women who gets breast implants
and trans men and top surgery. As someone who had implants for a
hormone disorder related issue and is now trying to have them
removed and possibly have top surgery that analogy really hit
home. I think it has the potential to bridge gaps between
communities. Again thank you for providing this struggling
gender queer butch with some hope. Maybe I can book you at my
college soon! Sincerely, Chris
June 14, 2009
QUESTION:
Hey there. Just hello. Remember me from Key West the restaurant
7Fish next to Janet? You look great and seem to be doing
awesome. Remember our hair and product discussions? Take care
and good luck!!
[Jeff]
ANSWER:
Hey Jeff! Of course I remember you! How are you? And yes I
remember our conversation. I miss Key West, you (even though
you're not there), and Steve and 7Fish!! I want to go back in
time and chat and eat.
April
30, 2009
QUESTION:
I
was wondering what u had lined up for the future project
wise...i.e. album, tour, book, show etc etc...hehe?
[Justice]
ANSWER:
I'm
working on MANologues right now and I'm super nervous about it
because I have a show in New York in two days. It will be the
first workshop show of many for this new show. It's a special
project for me. I really want people to see it and love it.
Basically what I've done is I have interviewed a bunch of
Butches and Trans guys (and will continue to) about their
experiences with their bodies. I've changed them into monologues
and I will be performing them over the next six weeks, here in
New York City and then back at home in Los Angeles. Hopefully
the project will grow and morph into something really amazing.
We'll see, maybe a book.
Meantime, I will keep doing standup, touring, writing new
material and will keep you all posted on the dates of all of
these things through my mailing list, which I see you signed up
for. So thanks for asking and I'll keep you posted. All love,
Ian
April
27, 2009
QUESTION:
Are you touring to
MINNESOTA anytime??
[Tavis]
ANSWER:
Bummer,
I was just in Minnesota a few weeks ago performing with Margaret
at a Casino there, not far from Minneapolis. If you missed it,
sorry, it was a super fun show. I'm sure I'll be back that way
again soon. I do post all my dates on here and on
MySpace if you want to check back from time to time. Sooo,
see you next time? Until then, cheers. XO - Ian
April
4, 2009
QUESTION:
I'm grew up in
Maine, but now I live in Pittsburgh, and get sh*t regularly
about the second 'r' I pronounce in the word 'drawing'. Do you
pronounce it 'drawring', too, Super Cute Ian?
[Jennifer]
ANSWER:
You know, I tease myself about it more than anyone else does.
When I hear my Maine accent I usually catch myself, then make
fun of myself by mimicking what I just said. And I do say
drawing similar to you, but mine is more trashy, like a TP
(Trailer Park) version.. which is draw-rin. I just drop the 'g'
all together. For example, used in a sentence: "Djew see that
drawrin, that guy a wicked good ahtist. Djew see that? I could
never drawr like that."
I have to say I don't think my Maine accent comes out to play
that often. If it does, it's usually intentional on my part.
It's definitely not an every day occurrence and not many
Californians notice it, not in LA anyway, they're all too busy
looking Twittering. Umm and myself included.
Thanks for the question. :) Ian
March
22, 2009
QUESTION:
Its nice to see I'm not the only TG in New England :-)
[K]
ANSWER:
Hey there K! Yes, there are hundreds, if not thousands, of TG
folks in New England and many of them get together socially. If
I were in New England, I would say 'hey let's meet up!' But I
live in Los Angeles now - not such an easy commute. but thanks
for finding me and saying hello! If you are looking to connect
with other TG folks in New England, there are many groups on
Yahoo. All the best to you! XO - Ian
March
6, 2009
QUESTION: Do you sleep with groupies
in Pittsburgh ?
[Bobby]
ANSWER:
Ohh my! Well Bobby, thanks for the offer that one else has given
on here before. But the answer is no, I have a deal with my
girlfriend that I won't do that on the road or at home. Thanks
for the thought though. XO (and not in a gay way ;0) - Ian
February
6, 2009
QUESTION:
First of all, I hope that I don't bother you. I love what you
do, both as a comic and as a trans activist. I really like the
fact that you see gender and sex as two very different things
and i was wondering if you know MTF trans individuals who
identify the same way as you, so like having a feminine gender
but happy with their biological body...[Li]
ANSWER:
Dear Li, You're not bothering me at all. I really like all the
messages I get on here and enjoy answering them. Thanks for
calling me a Trans Activist, that is an honorable title, I hope
I live up to it. I forget sometimes that is what I am. I guess I
know that I am and Activist, but sometimes I forget because
because of the medium I'm delivering the message in is so
subversive, I think..
Umm, lets see, your question.. I do know there are many people
who feel the way you and I describe. Lots of MTFs and FTMs feel
that way about their gender but don't elect to have surgery of
any kind. I there is a continuum out there for everyone and we
all fall somewhere different on that continuum with how we feel
about our bodies, our sex, our gender, and the decisions we make
(or not make) in order to feel okay in our own skin.
Also, if what you're asking me is: Do I know anyone personally
that I can refer you to so you can have support and share? No,
not necessarily anyone I can out safely on here. BUT there are
groups on Yahoo, Facebook, and other social networking sites
where people have similar ways of describing themselves as we
do. Also, there are resources in metro communities at GLBTQ
Centers that have great lists and contacts. Meanwhile, check out
this site and I think there will be resources that will get you
on the right trail:
http://groups.yahoo.com/search?query=transgender and
http://www.genderbridge.org/resource.htm
I hope this
helps with what you are looking for, drop me another note if not
and I will try to help further if I can. Thank you for writing!
Good thoughts your way, no matter where you are!
XO - Ian
February
6, 2009
QUESTION:
Do you
dress up for Halloween? What did you go as last year? What was
your favorite outfit? Can't wait to see you in concert in
Pittsburgh on March 7.
[Rob]
ANSWER:
Hey Rob, that's my oldest brother's name, Rob. Thanks for your
question.
Frig,
you're going to think I'm so lame on this one but I have not
dressed up for Halloween for decades of years. I think it's
because when I was three or four years old my Mom stitched this
amazingly detailed, jack-o-lantern outfit for me back in 1971 or
1972. The costume had a wire frame underneath to hold the fabric
away from my body in a round, pumpkin-shape. But the problem was
I HATED it and I didn't want to wear it. I cried the whole time
I had it on! She took me and my brothers down to the Bridgton
Town Hall (that's sooo New England) where there was a big
costume party and contest for all the kids in town and she
entered me in the contest, against my will! I won "cutest
costume" in the contest,
again,
against my will, still crying - even when the local newspaper
was lining us all up to snap a photograph of the winners. My Mom
was so excited she bought several copies of that week's
newspaper.
At my
parents house right now, there are four or five copies of that
newspaper clipping with a photo of me, the "cutest"
jack-o-lantern you ever did see, with plastic green ivy in my
hair as the stem, lined up next to Casper the Friendly Ghost,
Dracula, and others;
sobbing uncontrollably. In hindsight, the costume was really
clever and cute, my Mom did an awesome job at creating it. But
what I really wanted to be was a cowboy.
As an adult, I don't remember the last time I dressed up, but
I'm thinking about digging up that old "jack-o-lantern" outfit
to see if I can get it around just my head. I have noticed that
a lot of people just dress like whores on Halloween, and I mean
that in a good way. I love whores, but once everyone starts
doing it, it kind of takes the excitement out of it. I'll try to
be better about dressing up next Halloween, and I'm open to
suggestions as to what you think I should be. I certainly have
plenty of time to figure it out, it's fucking February!
XO to you Rob! Ian
February
5, 2009
QUESTION:
I am a
new fan! You are so cute and so warm and funny! When can you
come to Texas???
[Kaleena]
ANSWER:
Awe, thank you. I'm sure I'll be around that way sometime soon,
but Texas is enormous, maybe you could be a little more
specific. But I'm sure I'll be in Texas. My dates on here and on
MySpace are almost always up to date, so check there or join the
mailing list, I send out notes from time to time on there to let
people know where I'm going to be. Thanks for being a new fan! I
really appreciate it and hope to see you in Texas!
Cheers to you, XO, Ian
February
4, 2009
QUESTION:
You don't know
me. And I found you by chance. I donít know English very well;
so one of my friend translated my words to English. Youíre the
person who escaped my all conflicts. But is it going meanly
really good? But I think although all the problems, it mustn't
be worse than the first. I want to make a decision like you and
want you to help me about this. Because i need it too muchÖ Can
you describe me about you, before and after your transition,
feelings, problems, thoughts about this. And I hope that you can
understand what I want you to help me. İ will be very
grateful if you help me. İ am waiting your answersÖ. Being
my own!.............Thank you for everythingÖ.Take care of.
[Delidumrul]
ANSWER:
Before
I realized I felt this way about my body I feel like I was in
constant search of something that I couldn't name. It was like
being a Secret Agent on a mission but no one gave me my
instructions. The first time I saw someone else who had what I
wanted for myself, and saw they had found their language and
found their path; that was when I saw myself and in turn I found
thing I was searching for.
The first
time I saw and met my first Trans guys friends, it moved me so
much I began to cry. I kept looking at them with familiarity and
envy, loving them and wanting to be like them all at the same
time..
Then I was
on a whole other mission, to find my own, individual path. I
wanted to figure out what I wanted for myself without the
influence of others. I didn't want the influence of family or
other Trans guys. I needed support of those people but I need to
hear my own voice and make my own decisions.
I had
already been in therapy for years and loved it, so I knew that
was the space where I would find my own voice about what I
wanted for myself.
There were
hurdles, telling my family and friends was scary, but they were
loving and accepting. I realize this is not always the case, as
many people are frightened and don't understand and cast their
children, brothers, sisters, or friends away.
Sometimes I
think it's been a long road and other times, I think it's all
flown by so fast. I thought it would take forever to save for
chest surgery, one of the things I knew I wanted when clearing
my head and listening to what was inside of my heart. Once I put
my mind to saving, it went rather quickly. Having surgery was
one of the single most life changing experiences in my life to
date. Not having a female-identified chest has freed me in a way
that I only dreamed of feeling. Don't get me wrong, I am the
same human being on the inside, my core is the same, before and
after surgery and hormones, but I think that surgery (in
particular) has had the biggest impact on me. I am free, more
confident and more loving to myself. I used to have a voice in
my head that used to tell me that no one would desire me with
the way my body was before. I didn't want to be with me, so I
wondered how could anyone else want to be. That voice inside me
was instantly squelched after surgery. I still have that voice a
little bit, about other things, but not as much and not as loud.
So I am the
same human, hopefully a decent human, but more comfortable in my
skin, more accepting of myself and my body, although, not
perfect, it is soooo much better. Life was not bad before, I've
never thought my life was 'bad', but it is certainly better than
it was before I realized how I felt about myself, having found
my voice, and making the decisions I've made. It was really good
before, now it's really great. but that's probably easy for me
to say, sitting where I am now.
No matter
where you are in your process in your head or physical body, I
wish you peace, inside, with your body and head, sex and gender.
I wish you acceptance and love from family and friends and most
of all, yourself.
December 20, 2009
QUESTION:
Mmkay, I have a story, then I have a questionÖ
The story: In my high school, yes Iím still in high school, I
take a class geared for people who want to pursue teaching as a
profession after college. Our latest assignment was to educate
the class about a person, famous or not, who we think is
ìamazingly awesome beyond all reason of logicî (those are my
teacherís words, not mine). I chose you. And I quite enjoyed
describing you to a class of thirty straight peopleÖ Because I
started out with the easy general stuff and then later went
into, ìOh yeah, and heís a transmanÖî Which started a bit of a
riot, and then I realized that they didnít really know what that
meant. So I stood there for about ten minutes trying to explain
it civilly, intellectually, and they still didnít get it. I
ended up just degrading my speech to something like, ìOk, he was
born as a chick, but is actually a dude.î It was a lot of fun,
really, and I bet at least half of them went home and looked you
up on YouTube. As one of about four out lesbians in my school,
in Arkansas, I feel it is my job to at least try and make the
straight people understand some things when I can. And I hope it
doesnít completely weird you out that I used you for an exam
grade.
My Question: It freaks people out when I tell them how young I
was when I came out to my parents; I was fourteen. And Iíve been
totally out at school since the beginning of this year. So I was
curious, how old were you when you came out to your parents? And
how old were you when you were completely out to everyone around
you?
[Kasey]
ANSWER:
Seriously, wow! What a great story and whaaaat? Effing
ARKANSAS?! Whoah, you are so awesome and incredibly brave! I
actually love that I was worked into your exam in some capacity
and that you likely had some students with smoke coming out of
their ears trying to wrap their heads around what you were
explaining. I don't mind that you ended up boiling it down to
"was born a chick, but is actually a dude". Sometimes I have to
do the same thing, especially if I don't have time to really go
through the whole thing with them. Just the other day someone I
have met only a couple times came to my house and we were
talking about dogs and I told him I used to have a Saint Bernard
and I went to grab a photo from my room to show him. The photo
was from several years ago and I clearly looked far different
than I do today, but you could still tell it was me. I hesitated
for a second and grabbed the photo anyway and brought it out to
show this new person and right before I handed it over to him, I
said "PS. I used to be a chick." Sometimes that's all I have
energy or time for. So I understand the constraints of giving a
talk in school and you only have so much time to say it. I think
it's fine if done by someone in the queer community who is
saying it with respect and maybe even using lei terms to help
people understand, which kind of sounds like what you were
doing.
To answer your questions, I was 18 and just finished my freshman
year at Lasell Jr. College where I had fallen in love with my
best friend there at school, Julie - that was when I figured out
that I liked girls. It wasn't until I left college after that
first year that I got honest with myself about how I felt. I
think in hindsight, I knew 1986 wasn't a safe time for girls to
like girls. I never went back to Lasell Jr. College (for women)
- but not because of that - that's a whole other story. But I
came out to my parents shortly after returning home from
freshman year when newly 19. I remember what I said to them:
"Mom, Dad, I like girls". I think it's fortuitous that I never
called myself a lesbian when I told my parents or when
describing myself to others. It wasn't until many years later,
in my early 30s that I came out again and told them I wanted to
be a dude.
But I knew I was different at a very early age, I just didn't
have a language for it, no one I knew did either. It wasn't
until I met others and saw them, and heard them describe
themselves that I found a language for myself. Many Queers know
and find a language for it very young, I don't think it's weird,
it's awesome! However, it's not so awesome if people around you
are not supportive, then you spend a lot of younger years being
told by a lot of people, how you should be, instead of how you
are. Some say it to you, while others with a look, and tell you
you're not right in some way. So there are trade-offs for
coming out early and for coming out later in life.
Sometimes I think kids, especially young ones (post toddler to
preteen), know more about sexuality than many adults, because
their insights have not yet bet twisted by the outside world.
Family, religion and society has not yet taught a lot about
fear, shame, and embarrassment about anything to do with their
sexuality. So I think their insights and answers about how they
identify themselves can be more clear and honest. It's not until
later (preteen to adult) do children get bombarded with what and
how they are supposed to be in the world. So it makes
sense to me that some younger kids have an honest voice about
themselves at earlier ages. Although it's likely hard in some
ways, I think it's also a beautiful thing for kids to begin to
understand their sexuality and in turn themselves, at early
ages. It can help create smart and mature adults later on.
I'm
rambling, it's now 2:30 a.m. on Wednesday. I need to go to bed
but I really liked what you wrote, thank you for taking the time
to tell me your story and for your kind words, Kasey.
Oh
yeah, you never told me your grade, do you care to share?
Much love, XO - Ian
December 16, 2008
QUESTION:
Any
chance that all of the Dec 10 show will be available on YouTube
(or similar)? I would have loved to come to that show, but
Eugene is just too darned far from LA!!
[Elaine]
ANSWER
:
Yes, the clips should be up before the end of the year. Please
check back shortly:
www.youtube.com/ianharvie for
all of them.
XOXO - Ian
December 10, 2008
QUESTION:
Hey
Ian! I'm a girl 28 years old from Switzerland! Tell me about
Jorja Fox, how is she?!?!:-) I'm a big fan of her and saw that
she will be on your show. I'm a lesbian and I really look up to
you! I mean to go this way like you did that's really cool!!!:-)
I'm very impressed!! My friends and parents know that I'm a
lesbian and it's the better way to live with, otherwise they
wouldn't know! Sorry for my English.. long ago I spoke English!
:)
[Meli]
ANSWER:
Thanks for your message and your English seems great! About
Jorja, honestly, she is amazing and super easy to love. She is
extremely socially and environmentally conscious, and a really
great human. She completely inspired me to try being a
vegetarian, well, her and a couple others from a party at her
house. I've had the pleasure of interviewing her before this
most recent show, and since then we have become, well.. friends.
I feel nervous saying that but I think she would say the same of
me. Anyhow, you can get surely get a good vibe from the previous
interview and a sense for what she's like. The clips can be
found online at my
www.youtube.com/ianharvie
account:
Meanwhile, I will be posting clips from the most recent,
star-studded NO ON H8! Benefit Show for Equality California,
which Jorja is in. She shares a couple funny holidays stories. I
will be posting those shortly.
December 4, 2008
QUESTION:
Hey
Ian, I was wondering it you had and cute sisters (or queer
brothers) that you could hook me up with for this little
shin-dig that is happening at SMCC in Maine on the 13th. I want
a date that is as buff as you in the white tee shirt/chair pic.
in your press kit. Damn, CA has done you well. Can you help a
gurl out? Haha.. just kidding... It will be good to see you
again! I'm happy the students voted to fund you're show here.
Hooray! PS. You do know I will have to draw on your arm when you
get here.
[Amy]
ANSWER:
Haha! Hi Amy! Great to hear from you! For those of you reading
this entry, Amy is a friend of mine from Maine that I haven't
seen in a while. I will be going back there for the holidays to
see family and friends and to do a show on December 13th at SMCC
in South Portland.
I'm
really excited about the show and seeing you, Amy. Amy draws
(upon request) the most amazing vagina art on your body, like a
temporary Bic pen tattoo. I've always chosen my forearm for her
art to live temporarily. One late night in Portland at a local
queer club she drew one of her pieces on my forearm. I went home
later that night, went to bed, got up the next morning and for a
moment I forgot that she had drawn on me. So when I woke up I
rubbed my eyes and caught the piece out of one blurry eye and
was like 'what the..' just for a second, then I remembered. They
say every artist incorporates themselves into their art, I
wonder if that is true for Amy. :) Also that same morning when I
woke up with the temporary arm piece, I went into the bathroom
and saw the drawing was also on my face. Since I'm not a drinker
- not even a drop, I figured it out pretty quickly that I must
have slept with the side of my face pressed on my arm at some
point during the night because when I woke up that morning,
there was a vagina on my face too. Good times trying to wash
that off. I walked around with a faded vag on my face that day.
Glad you wrote, Amy.
See you and your pen in Portland, maybe this time you could just
draw it directly on my face.
To
respond to the first part of your email, I do have two bio-guy
brothers, one is queer, but he is the kind of queer that seems
to be into dick, so it's likely you are not each other's type.
;( I'll keep my eyes open for a date for you on the 13th! It
will be good to see you! Thank you and SMCC for having me!
November
23, 2008
QUESTION:
My wife
and I saw you last night in Reno. When you came on the stage she
poked me and said he's transgendered. I was looking around me
for someone who looked trans and she said, 'on the stage'. I
like to think I'm pretty savvy, but you look amazing, I was
clueless. River saw you in South Lake Tahoe a year ago so that's
how she knew. You were hysterical. I laughed out loud many
times, and I loved it! We were out on a walk tonight and we were
talking about the show. I said that I was so glad that you are
doing what you do. It is so courageous just to be yourself
sometimes. You do it with abandon. I admire you for that. What
is so great is how you get everyone to relate with you. It
seemed that everyone in that room was connecting with you and
your story. You rock! Not only do you bless us with laughter,
but you expand our realities with your candor and wit. Ok, a
question. Do you feel that connection? Do you comprehend the
good that you are doing with your story? Big hugs!
[Suz]
ANSWER:
It's hard to find the proper words to respond to your amazing
and kind email. I'm glad you came to the show in Reno. That show
was the last one in Margaret's Beautiful tour that began
last winter in Australia. How lucky am I that I have traveled
around with Margaret, doing what we do.
I think
it's important to mention, for me, each show is a gift and a
privilege. I am thankful for every moment of every show that I
get to perform, making people laugh, hopefully educating without
shoving anything down anyone's throats, maybe helping people
feel a little bit better in their own skin through power of
example, maybe a sense of belonging and family.
I
believe there's a sort of synchronicity thing that happens
between all of us, when we all let down our guards and become
our most authentic selves, share a laugh. I don't know how to
measure it's impact, if it has ripples or if it's singular,
there isn't really a scale per se. But maybe it can be
quantified by how good it feels when it happens? I'm guessing,
by your note, that maybe we all left a piece of ourselves in the
room last night, a true connection.
So yes,
I feel the connection and
I'm so
grateful for it and for your note. I hope that I get to keep
doing this for a long time.
November
17, 2008
QUESTION:
Gosh,
you are DREAMY. What's your favourite kind of cheese? I like
Swiss. Keep up the good work! From a chilly Canadian fan.
[Nicole]
ANSWER:
Aww,
thanks Nicole. I don't know if I'm "dreamy" but that's a super
sweet thing to write. Your question is really great and
important because I love CHEEEEEESE!
I don't
think I can settle on one particular kind of cheese, they're all
so freaking good. So I'll be glad to share with you a few of the
ones I LOVE. The first that comes to mind is traditional Swiss
cheese in fondue! It may not be the most exotic type if cheese
but I think it's one of the best because it's a communal and
social event with cheese as the guest of honor. Yay!
I love
really smelly cheeses too, especially Bleu Cheese, the more blue
veins the better. I used to have a friend whose family had
traditional cocktail hour almost every afternoon with cheese,
fruit, nuts, and drinks. Sometimes my friend and I would go for
the cheese, her family always had some really stinky Bleu Cheese
on display on a wooden sectional tray and tiny cheese knives
with fancy ceramic handles.
But the
cheese I like to pick up when I'm shopping is an Italian cheese
made from sheep's milk, called Pecorino. It's a hard, salty
cheese that I like to slice super thin and let the pieces sit on
my tongue to let it soften, then chew and swallow.
Reading
my response now, I feel like I may have gotten a little
pornographic about cheese at the end there. So maybe Pecorino IS
my favorite cheese? Mmmmm.. thanks for asking.
October
25, 2008
QUESTION:
I saw you on the "Beautiful" tour last night in Palm Desert. My
wonderful wifie took me to see you. Oct 24 was my 27th birthday
and you two made it fantastic! So thank you! But... you really
made me wonder, did they do a good job making smaller nipples.
Mine are about the size of IHOP lol, and going from IHOP to
nickles is just amazing to me. Oh and my partner and I would
gladly pinch your nipple sensation back..... you can't live with
out it. Again, thanks, the show was great!
[Brandise]
ANSWER:
Hey happy birthday to you! Thank you for finding me on here.
Let's see.. about those nipples. There are amazing surgeons out
there who do incredible work. I'm sure if you wanted to you
could find a great doctor and talk to them about a procedure
that was strictly about making smaller areolas for you, if that
is truly what you want and would make you feel better in your
head about them.
It took
me years to decide for sure that chest reconstructive surgery
was something that I wanted because I knew that it would be
irreversible. There are many things that you can't change back
once they're done. So I knew I had to be certain of what I
wanted.
I would
guess that depending on where you live and what kinds of doctors
you have access to, like in Southern California, Beverly Hills,
etc. there are many amazing plastic surgeons. You could likely
get something like that done.
I do
have to say that my surgeon, Dr, Michael Brownstein, M.D. in San
Francisco, CA did such an amazing job on my new antique button
sized nipples. I am so proud, happy and naked all the time now.
I realize we're talking about different procedures here but it's
really changed my life for the better. If you think about it and
you're sure it would make your head feel better, then find
someone who is an excellent artist and surgeon, it's worth the
money.
Thank
you for the offer on pinching my nipples back to sensation, you
two are so sweet. I will let you know when I'm ready for that
procedure. :o
October 25, 2008
QUESTION: I am in Palm Springs
visiting family and they took me to see Margaret Cho, you opened
the show which I really enjoyed. Your humor is real and it made
me laugh out loud. Thank you, and looking forward to seeing you
again. Are there any pictures of you before? Not to invade you
privacy, I am curious what you looked like as a woman.
[Henry]
ANSWER:
Thank you for coming to the show and for the kind words. Just
for future reference when you meet other Transgendered folks,
not everyone is okay with showing photos of themselves from
their 'previous life'. Some people are very private about it and
for some they feel it's disrespectful to ask. But everyone
(Trans) has different feelings about how much they are okay with
sharing from their past.
I do
not represent anyone but myself when I say that I am completely
okay with people seeing photos of me before chest surgery and
hormones. I believe that part of my life [pre-surgery and
pre-hormones] is/was part of my journey. I really try to not
move through this life without any regret about any moment or
about how I looked or feelings of discomfort. It was all part of
the ride to get here, where I am now. Without one of those
moments or days, I may not be here, now, where I am today.
Without one of those moments, my course may have been wildly
different. I am grateful for every difficult moment AND every
joyous one that brought me to this moment, here, now, today. I
love today.
Having
said this, feel free to peruse the images on my myspace page at
www.myspace.com/ianharvie,
there are plenty in there that are of me pre-surgery and
pre-hormones. But if you want one photo from a super long time
ago, check this one out. It was one of my last attempts at being
a girl, I was 23, in all masculine clothes, trying to grow my
hair out for my mother. She never asked me to, I just thought
this is what she would want. Not long after this photo was
taken, I shaved my head bald and never looked back. Since then,
my hair has never been longer than a couple of inches. But
looking at this photo of myself, I just think, God, I was so
young and knew very little about myself then.
It's
been a long beautiful, enlightening road.
Cheers, XO - Ian
