Angry YouTuber

This is so silly, but I’m going to tell you all anyway.

I’ve been in a bit of an argurment on YouTube (of all places) with someone who is apparently mad that I identify as Butch and Transgendered. My profile on all my social networking pages read that I also prefer the id ‘FTX’ (X = being something more masculine) instead of ‘FTM’. My profile also still reads ‘Female’ and I have never used the word ‘Male’ to identify myself. But this person somehow insists they know how I id and they think they have read my profile. Maybe they did, and simply did not retain its contents.

So this person that I seem to be spatting with has written me some things that I’m kind of baffled by. I thought I would share the exchange and ask what you all think. It’s so weird to me and when I converse with crazy people sometimes they can almost get me in a tailspin with their baggage.

I guess my biggest gripe about this whole thing would be why would anyone be mad about HOW I IDENTIFY?!! AND WHAT DOES IT HAVE TO DO WITH THEM? I understand that I have NO say on how others id, nor does it impact my feelings. Most times, not always, I try to know what is mine and what is not mine to have feelings about. It’s not my place or part to afford others their identity, nor am I that fucking powerful.

The exchange began after this viewer watched an interview I did with Margaret Cho and there was a part of my conversation with Margaret where we were talking about Trans invisibility in the GLBTQ community in a way that often leaves Trans people unheard and left behind. i.e. All Trans language was taken out of ENDA legislation. But at the same time they are the most visible and the highest risk for violence in the GLBTQ community. If you like, watch the video, then read the following dialog or just read the dialog and you get the idea.

First comment after viewing Cho interview on YouTube
http://www.youtube.com/user/faolchuscatha wrote:

Actually, Margaret, Butches are more invisible than trans people — as evidenced by this clip where a FTM calls himself a “Butch” — the two are not interchangeable .. if one is a Butch, one is not a FTM and vice versa; Butches are women who use female pronouns.

All Ian & Margaret are doing is making Butches even MORE invisible than we already are — he is also giving ammunition to people who say Butches just want to be men.

Done watching Margaret Cho AND Ian Harvie.

First comment after viewing Cho interview on YouTube
http://www.youtube.com/user/faolchuscatha wrote:

Actually, on his website, he IDs as a man and says, specifically, he does not ID as male — but then again, he also says he (incorrectly) IDs a Butch — but Butches are women, not men, so he is doing both trans people and Butches a disservice by IDing as both while being such a public figure like this.

As a masculine Butch woman, this all pisses me off a TON and people like this are part of the reason why so many young Butches feel that since they are masculine, they HAVE to transition.

My response to these user’s comments:

I’m not an FTM, it is careless/reckless to assume how anyone identifies. I am a Butch and Trans Man. I did not let go of my Butch identity when I came out as Transgendered. I have more than one ID.

I think you misunderstood the dialog Margaret and I were having. Trans people ARE often the most invisible (to the GLBTQ community) not necessarily the rest of the non-queer world and the least heard. An example would be how the HRC deliberately took Trans people out of the ENDA legislation language because they felt they couldn’t get it passed with Trans people included. That is a perfect example of Trans people being invisble, unheard, & excluded. That is the context of the conversation.

Maybe you can explain to me what you mean by Butches being invisble? I went from being wildly visible as a masculine, female-bodied person. Pre-hormones, not a day went by, as a visibly female-bodied person without some form of harassment in bathrooms, people gasping for air when they can’t figure it out, comments on the street “what the fuck was that?”

Then I elected to go on T and have chest surgery and now I’m completely invisible, still queer, still female, still Butch, but a T injected Butch, and completely invisible – even to the GLTBQ community. I was far more (literally) visible before as a big-chested masculine female body.

Rather than get all mad and claim you’re going to shut down the discourse and not watch us anymore.. maybe you could ask further questions to see if what we meant was what you thought – and in turn keep the dialog going. I don’t care if you watch us but I do care if stop the dialog. That is far more important to me than whether or not you watch my YouTube videos.

Most recent comment received today September 25, 2008
http://www.youtube.com/user/faolchuscatha wrote:

I could give a shit — you want to claim to be two things at once, thus negating an entire population of butches, feeding straight people’s ignorance, and feeding trans people’s delusions, go the fuck ahead.

Fuck you. Fuck Cho. And fuck anyone who claims that butches and FtMs are the same goddamn thing.

Thanks for making butches –women — even MORE invisible than we already were.

I got super angry and wrote this response to these user’s comments, trust me I realize I lost my temper with this person and am not completely psyched about what I wrote, but I am including ALL of it:

How does how I identify make you or anyone else negated? How I identify has zero to do with you. How you identify has zero to do with me. I don’t feel negated or overcome by how you id. That’s absurd and sounds like some heavy baggage on your part.

How wrong was I thinking I might entice you to have an intelligent conversation, but apparently you have no idea what you’re talking about and are obviously not up to the task.

I do have to commend you though, I really enjoy discourse with people like you who think they are being really brave in places where you can be anonymous (on the web/internet) where you enjoy writing things like: ‘fuckyou, fuck cho and anyone..etc.’ when you simply have NOTHING knowledgeable to offer.

You’re a pathetic, sad, ignorant, coward, afraid to have a dialog with a fellow community member who actually does have similar feelings to you and your genius response it to drive a giant wedge instead of build/support community with your entire US and THEM attitude and language.

I feel bad for you and your pathetic narrow mind and closed heart.
Good luck with that.
Ian

Then I went to this person’s youtube.com page (http://www.youtube.com/user/faolchuscatha) and this is what their description read right next to their default photo.

Butches are women. Period. We are masculine women. We are not males, not men, not FtMs, we do not want to be males, men, or FtMs, we do not emulate males, men or FtMs.

————————————–

I guess what I really want to know from all masculine identified people out there with all their various id’s for themselves and if they feel that how other people id impacts them and if so how?

I also want to hear from other Butches out there on whether or not you feel that ‘woman’ is a word that you use to describe yourself? And if you do/don’t feel this is a word you use to describe yourself, do you deny that others may/may not use this as a word to describe themselves? Are you okay with others using language that you don’t identify with?

Do you, as Butches or Trans Men or Gender Queer or Masculine Identified people feel, and be honest, that you have a right and a say about how others identify? For example, do you own Butch and Trans and Gender Queer ids and are others not allowed to these ids if their feeling are exactly the same as yours?

And, when you are describing yourself and how you feel about your body, your gender, your sex, your continuum, do you start with the words “I feel…” or “We feel…”?

If you are so inclined feel free to attempt a dialog with this unnamed, masked Butch Women on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/user/faolchuscatha

I’m interested in all voices and all responses.
Love you, mean it!
XO – Ian