Past My 30-Day Pledge
A few weeks ago I went out of town for a show. My return flight landed in LA and when I got home my calendar alarm on my phone went off reminding me about a party I was invited to at a new friend’s place.
Now, I think it’s noteworthy that I really like making new friends. I love all people and rarely turn down an invite if I’m available. So I freshened up, and if by ‘freshened up’ I mean, I scrubbed my phanton balls and hopped, slapped on some new Speed Stick, MapQuested that shit, and jumped in my truck and went on over to the Atwater area of LA where the party was.
My friend’s place was sweet, but modest digs. I walked up the pathway to the door, pushed open the partially cracked-open door and immediately was greeted by one of the hosts and several friendly smiling faces I didn’t know. All were eager to welcome me. I found a short can tonic water in the fridge and wandered into the backyard. A young, good looking Aussie man named Jordan was the first to grab me for a chat out there.
Now, by judging from his body language and how quickly he approached me, and how close he was when talking to me, Jordan was an ‘interested’ gay man. I’m getting better at picking up on this than before. He was rather quick to move, you might say. This helps confrm my growing suspicion that I am passing as a gay guy throughout several communitities. I’m getting used to it a little bit.
As Jordan and I talked and got to know one another, I learned he was a furniture designer and I shared with him what I do. I also outed myself as Trans and that I had just had chest surgery a few weeks prior. He was in disbelief! Being the proud parent of my new chest, I offered to show him. So there I was in the backyard of my new friend’s place, lifting up my shirt for my new gay boyfriend, Jordan. Nice one Ian, nice. A few people walked by while I was playing show and tell, but no one stopped. Jordan was wowed. I don’t know if he was disappointed to learn of my Trans-ness and perhaps counted me out, but we talked almost the rest of the night.
While I was talking to Jordan, I remembered there was a giant dining room table of food only a few steps away and I was getting snacky. So I left Jordan for a minute with the excuse of using the restroom and made sure my path went right by the treats. There was some delish guacamole there – which I feel like I need to confess this – I eat guac like I eat popcorn at the movies. By the fistful, it’s really fucked up. But I love it so much I can’t help it. I think I ate whatever was left in the bowl, which was A LOT!
I don’t think I ever even went to the bathroom. I went in that direction and ended up running into another sweet man named Bruce. Now, honestly, I got a similar vibe from Bruce as I got from Jordan in the initial meeting, like I was being checked out. I might be an ego maniac for saying that or just try to acknowledge what seemed to be happening at that moment. Maybe a little of both. My apologies to both Bruce and Jordan if I am off-base with all of this.
So a few minutes into my chat with Bruce, I learned he works for a large animal rights organization – you know who they are. I asked him the question that I’m sure he gets a lot: “Are you the folks who throw fake blood on people who wear fur?” Trust me, I prefaced the question with “Look, I know I’m an idiot for asking this..” He was super sweet to explain it all to me, “No, Peta doesn’t do that. Those people are not with Peta.”
Right around this time, a couple other people arrived rounding out almost a complete circle of people. There were these two sweet gay boys, all lovey with each other who seemed to know Bruce. Then another woman joined and it turns out she co-authored the book Skinny Bitch. I had not a clue what the book was about, but this girl was skinny and I thought, I’m going to Google that shit when I get home.
As I was standing there in that circle, at some point the conversation shifted and when someone, I don’t remember who, asked me if I was a Vegan. I said no and they asked why. All eyes had shifted to me. I felt like I was on that show Intervention and all those people in the circle were looking at me..
Do you remember that old commercial in the 1970s where the native american man is on the side of the freeway with a full feathered head-dress on, looking at all the litter in the gutter and hillside a one tear streaming down his face? They were all looking at me like that guy, but it was about eating meat.
Time seemed to crawl for a few minutes there when i heard myself trying to explain why I eat meat. Even I didn’t believe me. So I just got honest and admitted to being lazy and that I thought it would be hard to make the switch. I said I had thought about it before and didn’t know how I would actually do it. I was afraid I wouldn’t get as much protein and how was I going to get protein?
While I was standing there surrounded, I remembered the table of food that was out on display, minus the guacamole – because I ate it all – and I don’t remember seeing ANYTHING with meat in it on the table. As it turns out, it was pretty much a Vegan party. I mean they were celebrating Vegan style, food, drinks and even conversation.
Back to the circle of truth.. When finishing my explanation, as the last lame words of my came out, the Skinny Bitch girl just came right out and began her Vegan intervention speech and asked me to try be a Vegan. I’ll admit it, I used to think Vegan people were crazy. I couldn’t imagine a day without meat, that just seemed crazy to me. I could hear what I sounded like to myself, a MEAT ADDICT. And the words of the gay boys and the girl were sounding more and more like intervention words “if you won’t stop today, then when?” My response was that I had thought about it before and thought it was kind of a problem but that I needed some time to get my shit together and figure it out, plan for it. Such addict speak. So Skinny Bitch jumps in again and says to me, “How about May 1st? Try it for 30 days? Just do it for a month” She’s a good Interventionist, because that is exactly what they do on that show; they basically say, okay if not now, then when? They all collectively, totally got me.
Before the conversation ended, I told the two gay boys that I had recently drove North, up the I-5 the and passed that place where all the cows are and how bad it smells up there. The two gays boys told me stories about that place that made my skin crawl and stomach turn. They also told me they call it CowSchwitz where they take all the cows to slaughter.
I remembered driving by CowSchwitz knowing that smell, and the conditions of those cows, was fucked up. But some how I kept myself disconnected from it. I wouldn’t allow myself to think they were cute. I wouldn’t allow myself to think anything. I, at some point, had disconnected myself from animals so much, in a way that would allow me to not feel anything when I drove by that slaughter house on the side of the road- my disconnect even allowed me to eat them.
I don’t like being disconnected like that. I co-parent 3 dogs with my roommate and another one with my girlfriend. I have had dogs in my life and I would never fucking dream of eating them, even when my girlfriend’s pug, looks like a sweet little oven-roaster, I would never. So why would I eat kind of a larger version of these sweet little animals that I love and care for?
So my response in that Vegan intervention circle was this: “Okay. I’ll try it. BUT, I don’t think I can do the complete Vegan thing because I still want to do a little cheese on occasion or frozen yogurt from time to time. I counter offered with “how about 30 day Vegetarian pledge?” The author girl wasn’t totally excited but she accpeted it, probably hoping to gradually get me to the Vegan.
After my pledge in the circle I made my way back to the table to see what was left and they had just put out Vegan Peanut Butter Chocolate Pie! I ate a couple pieces as my reward for my commitment. I started my Veg Pledge on May 1st and I’m still doing it. I’m going to keep doing it. I like announcing to everyone that I’m now a Vegetarian when I’m about to eat something. I do miss meat a little bit but I do feel a little better physically and I’m trying to remember my connection to all living creatures.
If you’re thinking about making switch, it really isn’t hard. The idea that it is, it just not true, take it from a recovering meat eater, who just got their 30-day chip. Here’s web site that will help too: www.happycow.net and here’s another with some interesting stats:www.peta.org
Love you, mean it.
XO, Ian
